I get asked this question asked a lot.
“Where or how do I find a potential partner Will?”
“The people I’ve been dating just aren’t really matching up to what I am looking for in somebody.
Well the first question to ask yourself is, “Do I fully know myself, and if I really wanted to find a potential relationship, where would someone like myself go?” I think knowing yourself and what you want is crucial in figuring out what you are looking for in a relationship.
I’m going to be honest with you. You probably aren’t going to find your future wife at a bar. Yes, it definitely has happened, and I know many people who have experienced it. But, really take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, would I really want to meet my future partner at the bar? Not saying it’s wrong, but who knows it may happen.
The question to ask yourself is, “If there was someone out there looking for someone like myself, where would they be looking?” Now, relationships are formed in many ways. I’ve been in many different social situations where two people meet and they later start dating each other. What do you really like doing for fun? What gets you really excited? These are just some questions to ask yourself. When you are doing the things you love you naturally attract the right people into your life.
Be social. Yes, just get out there and be social. I think the best thing for anyone in their twenties/thirties and really all age groups is to have different friend groups. Yes, you’ll always have your core group of friends, but say yes to any social experience someone invites you to. Focus on making friends and meeting new people. Don’t focus on the finding the relationship part. That usually comes after you put yourself out there and meet new people. You are a reflection of the people you associate yourself with. So be wise of the people you are around, but make it a habit to experience new social groups.
Get out of your comfort zone. Do something you’ve never done before. I took a salsa dancing class one time. Completely out of my comfort zone, as I am a terrible dancer. But, it was a ton of fun and I meet some pretty cool people. Most of you probably have that one or two things that you’ve wanted to try for quite some time now, but just couldn’t because of some story you were telling yourself in your head.
The saying goes and I really do believe this to be true that you find someone to be in a relationship with when you really aren’t looking. I think the more we constantly look for relationships, the more we miss out on of just being in the moment. Live in the present and just be yourself. What you put out in the world is what you will attract.