Dating is about understanding yourself

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Dating is about understanding yourself. Many of us go through multiple relationships throughout our lives and date many people, and that’s completely okay if you’re one of those people. Many of us get married and stay married until the day we die, and that’s completely okay too.

Whatever it is you choose to do with your dating life, just know that it’s all about understanding yourself, and who you are as a person. The whole purpose of any relationship is to grow as a person, but more importantly to help the other person grow as well while working together as a team. As you date many people you will learn more about yourself, such as what you are looking for in a person and what you are not. I have dated many women up until this point in my life at the age of twenty four and have realized a lot about myself, and what it is exactly I am looking for in a long term partner. Some things you might realize about yourself when you’re dating someone is what your core values are and do they align with the others persons.

Such as, what’s their view on money? What is their view on children? What is their view on life in general? What is their view towards religion and politics? What is their view on health? These are just a few I mentioned above, but when you begin dating someone it’s important to figure out another’s values early on in an any relationship. The earlier you figure out someone’s values the more open you both can be with each other about what you need and expect in a relationship. I found out in my previous relationships that a lot of the values I was looking for were not aligning with the current person I was with. You might hear people say, “well it’s too early to be asking all these serious questions when you first start dating someone.” Well, as a human being wouldn’t you want to know if your values align with this person you are attracted to and get along with. I think the answer would be a YES! Example: if you are a person who works out and puts health at the top of his or her agenda, wouldn’t you want to date someone who cares about their body and health. The answer would probably be “YES!”

Chances are you won’t be able to date someone who doesn’t care about their body and health as much as you do. So it’s important to find a medium. You both need to be interested in similar things and have similar values and goals. The few questions I mentioned in the above paragraph are questions you should definitely discuss with your partner to see if your values and goals align but the questions will ultimately bring you closer together.

-Will

 

 

26 comments on “Dating is about understanding yourself”

  1. I’m smiling. You left me a follow after reading Karen’s shoes which was a tribute to her love for 54 years. I have been married for 65 years. I probably will not follow any of your dating rules. You will probably have trouble with mine. Old fashioned things like commit, stick to it, keep your promise, be loyal, when any of these things fail, forgive. If you don’t know a person well enough to live under these conditions, don’t marry. And don’t have sex until you are married. Oh my, no wonder so many just decide to shack up. I’m smiling. I’m also following. πŸ˜€

  2. Dating is a distant past for me. I don’t think I ever really dated much, I just got married 3 times. My current husband is superb. All I know about dating is this: one gets their date according to their expectations. If somebody believes that all women or all men are bad idea and cheaters and so on, that’s what they will get. Those who believe that everybody is worthy, has good moral principles and is honest and trustworthy will also have a wonderful spouse eventually. We get what we believe in. Dating at any means and dating just for the sake of dating will never end good. The same goes dating in spite and dating as a revenge to somebody who has left you with broken heart. Just don’t do it. Universe has means to deliver everything we believe in and hope for.

  3. Great post, hopefully inspiring for those who are into dating (I am not as I am happily married, haha!, and not polyamorous as far as now). I absolutely agree with all your reasoning about paying attention to someone who shares your values and interests in life. But what happens when you are attracted to someone much older or younger than you? Can online dating work as well as classic face-to-face dating? I highly recommend you this post of my friend Mario Savioni where he deals with these two questions. Link: https://savioni.wordpress.com/2019/02/01/pickles-and-tarts-chapter-4/

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